You just might be
living in Haiti if…
Your 9 year old makes a vivarium and has a choice of which
gecko he’s going to catch from inside
your home
You find gecko poop in your shoes (and it looks just like
mouse poo but you’re not as disgusted by it)
While you’re bleaching carrots, you see your three year old out
the window completely naked, pee peeing alongside a puppy
You go to a 3 ½ hour long church service…and when you take your restless toddler outside to the nursery he entertains himself by chasing chickens
You see live goats tied together by their horns, hanging
from the side view mirrors of trucks
You sift bugs out of the pancake mix at night so the teams don’t know (tip: freeze first to stop them from crawling (j/k..kinda ;)
No one gets up from the dinner table to remove the tarantula
crawling on the wall
You wake up at 5am to hang laundry and still sweat
All the fruit you buy at the market is personally marked by the seller
You’re at the grocery store and you have to divide everything by 40 to figure out how much it costs and then they tell you the price is in another currency so divide by 5 but pay in the first denomination or multiply by 8
Your husband alternates Norwex clothes to wipe the sweat from his head…while he sits in the shade…with a “cool” breeze
You drink the bugs in your water bottle and actually think to yourself “I’m saving money on protein”
You use a public restroom and come out and say “three walls and a hole…it’s better than I expected”
Your nine year old asks to carry a machete like the seven year olds he sees
Someone tries to wash your car with gasoline rags and then demands you pay them for the unwanted service
You find pig feet and other parts sitting out on your counter
You try to eat a banana and find out it’s actually a potato
Your chicken comes with parts
you don’t know how to cook
Your three year old can be a professional locksmith…in his underwear