A Baby Boy & a Father's Love

 

A Baby Boy & a Father's Love

 



Happy 16^th Birthday Braxton!!  It’s really hard to believe that 16yrs ago today our first son was born; we are so proud of him and love him with all of our hearts. What an amazing gift from God! When I was thinking about Braxton’s upcoming birthday I couldn’t help being reminded that his birth and existence was one of the most pivotal points in my life.  You see when he was born, I wouldn’t have considered myself a Christian at that point. I really didn’t believe in God.  Looking back now on my earlier life I could honestly say there were times I thought “maybe” but verbally I had more of a “scientific, I need proof” mindset. It’s funny how God reveals Himself to us, some of us know Him all of our lives, others have our eyes opened by friends/family/church and then there are us who God speaks through in unconventional means…

I don’t know about all men but I’m pretty comfortable saying that most of us are pretty clueless on what’s about to happen when our wives are pregnant.  You see, a woman carries the baby, the whole time having that constant connection, that relationship with their child…she “knows” her baby.  Us guys (at least I was ) are like “yep, we’re having a baby, that’s cool huh?”  Yes, I knew Carrie was pregnant, I felt the kicks in her tummy, I witnessed the morning sickness, the birthing classes with the hippie lady, but I didn’t “really” know what was about to happen. 

On Dec 4, 1997 Braxton Ayers Todd was born at Mac Dill Air Force Base in Tampa Florida and I got to meet him for the very first time.  I was overwhelmed, here is this little baby that I never met and I loved him more than words can explain and I loved him instantly and unconditionally.   I didn’t understand how that was possible, but it over took me.

As a little time went by and we settled into being parents I came home from work one day and Carrie handed me Braxton.  Like most nights he just laid on me and slept as I watched TV or a movie but this time it happened to be the movie “Contact”.   I don’t remember much about the movie except Jodie Foster is a scientist and her father had recently passed and that her father was trying to develop a machine that reached heaven? Matthew McCaughey was a Preacher that played opposite Jodie.  As I was watching the movie with baby Braxton sleeping on me, a scene came on where Jodie and Matthew were on a balcony discussing the existence of God.  Jodie said that she believed God was made up by man so we wouldn’t feel all alone and if there was an all-powerful God why didn’t he leave any proof? Then Matthew said he couldn’t imagine living in a world without God, she replied how can you be so sure & since she was a scientist she needed proof.  After a pause, Matthew asked her “Do you love your Father?”  she was caught off guard and said “what?”,  he then again asked her “do you love your Father?”  Then Jodie very strongly and heartfelt said “yes, very much so” he then replied “prove it.”   That two word statement from Matthew just turned my world upside down.  Here I was, laying here with my son, whom I loved more than words can explain and I couldn’t prove it.  The most powerful, sure, true thing that I had ever known and it was basically unprovable. This was when my relationship with God began, of course He always had a relationship with me, I was just to blind to see. I used to say “show me a miracle…part the sea, etc”,  now I see God’s existence in everything, there are miracles literally happening all the time just so we can continue to breath. 

I am so thankful that 16yrs ago today that God gave my wife and I our baby boy, he is now growing into an incredible young man, we are so very proud of you Braxton!  I can't wait to see all of the things God has planned for you!

God Bless!

Barrett